Project: OFF0002-MC_Hollywood_BBC
Clip Name: Unk

Asia:
00:00:29:08 - 00:00:40:22
I'm just gonna say I was not surprised when all of these Horror stories about Things that he's done with young young young women came out because

Asia:
00:00:40:22 - 00:00:48:02
it like hit a chord of like oh, right Yeah, the what are the those thoughts that I was having at the time when I knew him were correct

Asia:
00:00:48:18 - 00:00:49:19
it was 1996.

Asia:
00:00:50:12 - 00:00:52:22
We were living in Boulder at the time

Asia:
00:00:53:06 - 00:00:55:06
They were filming this movie called Switchback.

Asia:
00:00:55:24 - 00:00:58:06
And my mom was dating the cinematographer

Asia:
00:00:59:02 - 00:01:04:03
I had seen Jared's TV show called My So-Called Life

Asia:
00:01:04:16 - 00:01:08:03
and was like, you know, like everyone else kind of adored him

Asia:
00:01:08:13 - 00:01:09:17
How old were you at the time?

Asia:
00:01:10:13 - 00:01:10:23
16.

Asia:
00:01:11:17 - 00:01:11:24
Yeah

Asia:
00:01:13:18 - 00:01:17:16
mom told me he was on set and so she said, Do you want to come to

Asia:
00:01:17:16 - 00:01:18:21
lunch and meet him

Asia:
00:01:19:08 - 00:01:24:20
I remember being like overly nervous and sitting and having lunch with him

Asia:
00:01:24:23 - 00:01:29:04
I just remember myself feeling like overwhelmed with

Asia:
00:01:29:07 - 00:01:31:03
you know, we just talked and had lunch.

Asia:
00:01:31:07 - 00:01:36:20
And we found out that we were both like pretty outdoorsy people like hiking and da-da-da.

Asia:
00:01:36:24 - 00:01:40:00
So he invited me to go for a hike with his dog

Asia:
00:01:40:15 - 00:01:43:09
it felt like we were like establishing like friendship or

Asia:
00:01:43:09 - 00:01:46:03
I was starting to get to know him, you know

Asia:
00:01:46:04 - 00:01:47:05
he's very charismatic.

Asia:
00:01:49:00 - 00:01:51:04
He's quite an incredible storyteller

Asia:
00:01:51:20 - 00:02:00:15
and I would say good at making himself vulnerable so that you would feel a connection to him

Asia:
00:02:00:23 - 00:02:08:05
And maybe I actually like looking back, that's something that I feel like an older person does

Asia:
00:02:08:18 - 00:02:19:08
so I was 16 and he was 24 and But at the time when I met him I was not anywhere close to being aware of his age whatsoever

Asia:
00:02:20:06 - 00:02:29:19
wasn't like I knew that he was much older than significantly older than me because the character that he played in My so-called life was a high school student So

Asia:
00:02:30:04 - 00:02:34:14
that was kind of like where I was getting the concept of his age

Asia:
00:02:34:21 - 00:02:41:23
I think it was very clear that I was a teenager And that I looked probably even younger than I was that I looked like I was 14

Asia:
00:02:42:06 - 00:02:45:14
He knew I was in high school because I had told I had told him

Asia:
00:02:46:11 - 00:02:48:12
about six months after we met he

Asia:
00:02:48:12 - 00:02:55:20
he was coming out for a ski trip with some of his actor friends and he invited me out to stay with them

Asia:
00:02:56:11 - 00:03:00:12
was under the impression that we were going to all be out on the slopes together.

Asia:
00:03:01:13 - 00:03:07:23
I was very excited because I was at the time a very avid skier and snowboarder

Asia:
00:03:08:18 - 00:03:14:22
I arrived, one of the actors had brought their son and

Asia:
00:03:15:12 - 00:03:20:13
And it just so turns out that they thought that I was gonna be the babysitter for the trip somehow

Asia:
00:03:21:06 - 00:03:24:04
the guys could go out on their like ski trip

Asia:
00:03:24:06 - 00:03:25:04
I ended up staying

Asia:
00:03:25:14 - 00:03:27:08
in the cabin and

Asia:
00:03:27:08 - 00:03:35:19
I Feel like I should have been asked before I went up on the trip like Would you like to stay home and like hang out with the kid?

Speaker 3:
00:03:36:04 - 00:03:36:14
You know

Asia:
00:03:38:24 - 00:03:40:15
pretty odd actually

Asia:
00:03:41:03 - 00:03:46:15
power dynamic of like He's a famous person with quite a lot of money and I'm just this young like mountain girl

Asia:
00:03:47:01 - 00:03:51:21
I felt a little disregarded and like a little bit just like left to the side

Asia:
00:03:52:07 - 00:03:53:21
they had three rooms

Asia:
00:03:54:12 - 00:03:57:00
guess it was just assumed that I would share a room with him

Asia:
00:03:57:03 - 00:03:59:13
I was still developing my sense of self

Asia:
00:03:59:21 - 00:04:00:19
I'd never had a boyfriend.

Asia:
00:04:01:00 - 00:04:07:09
I wasn't like, you know, I that wasn't in my like consideration and

Asia:
00:04:07:12 - 00:04:10:02
But it did seem a little strange to me

Asia:
00:04:10:16 - 00:04:17:22
to be like in a bedroom with the person that you don't really know that well like that that's here You know where you're supposed to sleep

Asia:
00:04:18:17 - 00:04:37:15
All I know is that I was in What I considered to be an altered state whether it was like pre-sleep like getting towards sleep or whether I was sleeping or whatever But I remember him making physical advances towards me and then like kissing me and And then it was at that point that I was just like

Asia:
00:04:37:17 - 00:04:39:01
this is not what we're doing and

Asia:
00:04:39:04 - 00:04:42:19
It was like definitely felt like it was like a little bit out of nowhere

Asia:
00:04:43:10 - 00:04:48:05
was like, okay, this person is not safe sexually like

Asia:
00:04:48:08 - 00:04:51:05
just don't go there with this person

Asia:
00:04:51:18 - 00:04:55:12
I kind of just made my body unavailable and then it just stopped

Asia:
00:04:56:01 - 00:05:00:24
I didn't leave that situation feeling very warmly about him

Asia:
00:05:01:07 - 00:05:12:06
I don't think I allowed myself to fully feel that until quite a bit later Where I was like, oh, okay, that was an inappropriate kind of situation or

Asia:
00:05:12:06 - 00:05:16:03
was after that that we kind of like didn't stay in touch anymore.

Asia:
00:05:16:03 - 00:05:16:13
And

Asia:
00:05:16:21 - 00:05:20:03
it was 10, 15 more years that I

Asia:
00:05:20:04 - 00:05:24:20
found out that he was, you know, being inappropriate with super young women

Asia:
00:05:24:24 - 00:05:26:03
Now looking back

Asia:
00:05:26:08 - 00:05:31:08
Yeah, I was like seeing For seeing like where he was headed

Linda:
00:05:49:10 - 00:05:51:08
I remember reading the article

Linda:
00:05:51:24 - 00:05:56:17
remember feeling oh My god, it sounds just like my story like

Linda:
00:05:57:03 - 00:05:59:18
it sounded it sounded like it was about me and

Linda:
00:06:02:18 - 00:06:05:08
Okay, well down memory lane right?

Linda:
00:06:05:13 - 00:06:12:01
I have a few photos here of back in that day when I was a little bit younger

Linda:
00:06:14:16 - 00:06:15:07
Oh my gosh.

Linda:
00:06:15:18 - 00:06:16:18
You guys remember pictures?

Linda:
00:06:17:23 - 00:06:18:22
Everything's digital now.

Linda:
00:06:19:05 - 00:06:19:22
There's no such thing

Linda:
00:06:21:02 - 00:06:22:09
Okay, this is definitely high school.

Linda:
00:06:22:14 - 00:06:24:20
I recognize my high school that I used to go to

Linda:
00:06:26:05 - 00:06:27:15
Oh my gosh, I was

Linda:
00:06:28:11 - 00:06:30:07
know 15 16 here

Speaker 2:
00:06:31:00 - 00:06:34:19
is probably right around like right around the time when I met him

Speaker 2:
00:06:36:17 - 00:06:39:07
I look like such a baby looking back on these pictures.

Speaker 2:
00:06:39:21 - 00:06:44:02
It's it's so crazy to I mean I look Yeah, I look so young

Linda:
00:06:48:10 - 00:06:52:14
I've always been this like free spirit type of person

Linda:
00:06:53:02 - 00:06:58:11
and I still actually to this day, one of those like act first, think second, you know

Linda:
00:06:58:18 - 00:07:02:20
Just try things and then if it works out great and if it doesn't, then now you know, right

Linda:
00:07:03:19 - 00:07:05:10
So in 2002

Linda:
00:07:05:16 - 00:07:08:02
when I was 17, I had this job at Planet Hollywood

Linda:
00:07:08:10 - 00:07:09:05
I worked in the mall

Linda:
00:07:09:18 - 00:07:10:21
group of guys came in

Linda:
00:07:10:24 - 00:07:11:18
one of them looked

Linda:
00:07:11:20 - 00:07:12:04
familiar.

Linda:
00:07:12:10 - 00:07:14:04
So I said, oh, you look familiar.

Linda:
00:07:15:00 - 00:07:17:16
And he was like, oh, what high school did you go to?

Linda:
00:07:17:21 - 00:07:20:08
And I said, oh, I went to this high school.

Linda:
00:07:21:00 - 00:07:22:18
And he was like, oh, no way, me too

Linda:
00:07:23:10 - 00:07:27:19
his friends started laughing and I was like, what?

Linda:
00:07:27:23 - 00:07:28:17
Like, what's so funny?

Linda:
00:07:29:04 - 00:07:31:01
And they were like, he didn't go to your high school.

Linda:
00:07:31:08 - 00:07:32:06
They were like, he's famous

Linda:
00:07:32:17 - 00:07:34:21
that's when they were like, oh, well, this is Jared Leto

Linda:
00:07:34:21 - 00:07:36:17
And so I was like, oh, cool.

Linda:
00:07:36:22 - 00:07:38:24
Like, that's awesome, you know, you're famous.

Linda:
00:07:39:08 - 00:07:40:18
They still didn't know he was, right

Linda:
00:07:42:04 - 00:07:46:01
they were like, oh, and he has this movie coming out really soon called Panic Room.

Linda:
00:07:46:08 - 00:07:49:18
And we're in Vegas 'cause we actually just started this band called 30 Seconds to Mars

Linda:
00:07:51:13 - 00:07:54:15
so I was just drawing them around and taking them through the store.

Linda:
00:07:54:19 - 00:07:57:07
And so then we went to check them out at the cash register

Linda:
00:07:58:02 - 00:08:01:11
And it was just, you know, like a fun casual vibe

Linda:
00:08:02:01 - 00:08:04:18
that's when Jared Leto was like, Hey, like you seem really cool.

Linda:
00:08:05:11 - 00:08:06:13
You know, can I get your phone number?

Linda:
00:08:06:21 - 00:08:08:11
Like, would you like to hang out later?

Linda:
00:08:08:11 - 00:08:12:05
And so I was like, yeah, you know, I'm like, Oh, cool, like he's a celebrity, right?

Linda:
00:08:12:08 - 00:08:13:01
I'm 17.

Linda:
00:08:13:01 - 00:08:16:10
And I'm like, you know, I think that was the first time I ever met a celebrity

Linda:
00:08:16:19 - 00:08:20:09
I don't believe he asked me how old I was.

Linda:
00:08:20:22 - 00:08:24:03
Obviously, the conversation started with what high school did I go to?

Linda:
00:08:24:17 - 00:08:28:22
So I think that there was some perception there of how young I was

Linda:
00:08:29:18 - 00:08:33:21
And so I was going to meet up with him after work

Linda:
00:08:34:08 - 00:08:36:02
he asked me to come meet him in his hotel.

Linda:
00:08:36:02 - 00:08:36:16
And

Linda:
00:08:37:01 - 00:08:37:06
work.

Linda:
00:08:37:08 - 00:08:38:12
It was really close to my work.

Linda:
00:08:39:02 - 00:08:43:18
And I pulled in and it was this dingy motel

Linda:
00:08:44:00 - 00:08:49:19
I remember thinking like, wait, if he's a celebrity, why is he staying at this dingy girlish motel?

Linda:
00:08:50:24 - 00:08:54:02
But that's where he said he was still getting ready and if we could meet there

Linda:
00:08:54:04 - 00:08:55:07
didn't think much of it.

Linda:
00:08:55:08 - 00:09:00:00
I just was like, oh, he's still getting ready and we're going to meet up there and then we're going to go out afterwards

Linda:
00:09:00:14 - 00:09:02:20
so I knocked on the door, went in

Linda:
00:09:03:08 - 00:09:06:13
I sat on the bed and he was like, hey, yeah, like I'm still getting ready.

Linda:
00:09:06:23 - 00:09:09:24
I'm just going to hop in the shower real quick and finish getting ready.

Linda:
00:09:10:08 - 00:09:11:21
And like, do you mind waiting?

Linda:
00:09:12:05 - 00:09:13:04
And I was like, no, of course not.

Linda:
00:09:13:04 - 00:09:14:05
Like, go finish getting ready.

Linda:
00:09:14:14 - 00:09:14:14
And

Alice:
00:09:14:22 - 00:09:19:02
Okay, so he went and got in the shower and what happened next?

Linda:
00:09:22:17 - 00:09:24:02
Sorry, it's hard.

Linda:
00:09:28:07 - 00:09:29:15
Sorry, I had to like, give myself together.

Linda:
00:09:31:20 - 00:09:33:01
විවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිව විවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවිවි

Linda:
00:09:36:09 - 00:09:38:01
I was sitting on the bed waiting for him to get ready.

Linda:
00:09:38:13 - 00:09:40:20
And he called me.

Linda:
00:09:40:23 - 00:09:45:15
And he was like, hey, come in here so we can talk while I'm in the shower

Linda:
00:09:46:02 - 00:09:47:17
And so I went into the bathroom.

Linda:
00:09:48:01 - 00:09:48:08
And

Linda:
00:09:48:10 - 00:09:58:13
I don't think there was many words exchanged and he opened the shower curtain and when he opened the shower curtain he started kissing me

Linda:
00:09:58:20 - 00:10:04:01
And I think I still was just kind of like, OK, this is weird.

Linda:
00:10:04:20 - 00:10:05:23
And I wasn't expecting this

Linda:
00:10:06:06 - 00:10:09:01
And then he grabbed my hand.

Linda:
00:10:10:18 - 00:10:18:05
I don't even know how to say this part, but he grabbed my hand and he started touching himself with my hand, like using my hand to

Linda:
00:10:18:18 - 00:10:21:02
masturbate himself with my hand.

Linda:
00:10:24:06 - 00:10:29:06
And I just went on for just like a couple of minutes

Linda:
00:10:30:16 - 00:10:40:13
in that moment I when he grabbed my hand and he was kissing me I Definitely realized that I was not in a great situation.

Linda:
00:10:40:13 - 00:10:40:19
So

Linda:
00:10:41:02 - 00:10:58:10
do think that I I was a little afraid of You know my loan in this room and you know If I wasn't gonna be able to leave or if I wasn't going to be able to I I Didn't know what was gonna happen right

Linda:
00:10:58:15 - 00:11:02:18
know, I pulled away and I was like, okay, I'm gonna go, I said

Linda:
00:11:04:03 - 00:11:06:13
He got out, put a towel on and

Linda:
00:11:06:23 - 00:11:13:00
And there was a weird thing that I always remembered

Linda:
00:11:13:16 - 00:11:23:09
He went outside and I remember he specifically looked to the left and it looked almost like seeing if there was anybody around before he let me out of the room

Linda:
00:11:23:15 - 00:11:26:13
and I was like, okay, bye, it's okay, bye.

Linda:
00:11:26:20 - 00:11:29:00
And that was the end of it, yeah.

Alice:
00:11:32:06 - 00:11:33:20
I'm so sorry that happened to you

Linda:
00:11:38:03 - 00:11:39:12
I think he knew what he was doing.

Linda:
00:11:39:16 - 00:11:43:05
He knew what the purpose of inviting me over was.

Linda:
00:11:43:24 - 00:11:47:16
Why I didn't realize that till the end is beyond me.

Linda:
00:11:48:04 - 00:11:48:10
But

Linda:
00:11:48:20 - 00:11:50:21
We didn't have internet in our hands.

Linda:
00:11:51:18 - 00:11:52:15
We didn't have that.

Linda:
00:11:52:21 - 00:11:53:15
And I was at work.

Linda:
00:11:54:07 - 00:11:54:22
I got off work.

Linda:
00:11:56:08 - 00:11:57:00
I met up with him.

Linda:
00:11:57:05 - 00:12:03:15
And so I didn't know who he was or how old he was or anything about him until after everything, when I went home.

Linda:
00:12:04:04 - 00:12:06:04
And then I looked him up on like a computer

Linda:
00:12:07:16 - 00:12:09:24
And that's when I realized he was in his early 30s

Linda:
00:12:12:01 - 00:12:14:13
a'r gwybod yw'r 40 yw meddwl yw.

Linda:
00:12:14:13 - 00:12:15:23
A'r

Linda:
00:12:17:08 - 00:12:18:05
yw'r gwybod yw'r

Linda:
00:12:19:12 - 00:12:19:24
gwybod yw'r

Linda:
00:12:21:00 - 00:12:22:01
y gwybod yw'r gwybod

Linda:
00:12:24:16 - 00:12:26:18
Mae'n gwybod yw'r gwybod...

Linda:
00:12:33:07 - 00:12:47:22
most of my life I had viewed this event as I Was a stupid girl That did something stupid did something dumb and so This bad thing happened

Linda:
00:12:50:01 - 00:12:51:14
of course it did because

Linda:
00:12:53:15 - 00:12:54:23
did something dumb and so

Linda:
00:12:56:07 - 00:12:56:16
on me

Linda:
00:12:59:10 - 00:13:00:14
don't think I ever it's

Linda:
00:13:01:10 - 00:13:03:09
always simply until probably last couple years.

Linda:
00:13:03:09 - 00:13:17:24
I ever Blamed him I always blamed me Because like yeah, I went you know and I just kept going along with it

Speaker 1:
00:13:18:20 - 00:13:22:00
did feel safe until that moment

Speaker 1:
00:13:22:10 - 00:13:25:08
there's the level of trust that okay so he's known you

Speaker 1:
00:13:25:08 - 00:13:26:06
on the celebrity

Speaker 1:
00:13:27:00 - 00:13:32:05
He seems like this quiet shy reserved guy, that built another layer of trust

Speaker 1:
00:13:32:23 - 00:13:34:06
and so I

Speaker 1:
00:13:34:11 - 00:13:36:15
reuweithio'r llai o'r llyfroth i gael.

Speaker 1:
00:13:37:02 - 00:13:38:22
Rwy'n papyr i'n ddweud rydyn ni'n gydag i'n

Speaker 1:
00:13:40:01 - 00:13:50:00
yeah, do I believe that even at that age as naive as I was, if some guy on the street would have came up to me and said Hey can I get your number?

Speaker 1:
00:13:50:04 - 00:13:51:14
Do you want to meet me in my hotel room later?

Speaker 1:
00:13:52:19 - 00:13:55:07
Ni. Ni

Speaker 1:
00:13:56:07 - 00:13:59:21
I don't know if it's dumpling it or if it's

Speaker 1:
00:14:03:08 - 00:14:10:12
Maybe it's a level of protection, you know, because if you are assaulted, what does that mean about you, right?

Speaker 1:
00:14:11:05 - 00:14:12:03
What does that make you?

Speaker 1:
00:14:12:08 - 00:14:15:23
What is how does that affect you and there is also this?

Speaker 1:
00:14:16:18 - 00:14:18:14
Back to why women don't speak up.

Speaker 1:
00:14:18:16 - 00:14:22:17
I think there's this level of fear of judgment fear of how you're seen, right?

Speaker 1:
00:14:22:21 - 00:14:33:23
I think that's definitely top of mind for me doing this is How are people gonna perceive me after seeing this, you know, and that's really scary thought

Clara:
00:14:51:21 - 00:14:53:10
I was about 16 or 17

Clara:
00:14:53:18 - 00:14:55:13
this was in the early 2000s

Clara:
00:14:55:20 - 00:14:58:05
His band was having a concert somewhere here in Southern California

Clara:
00:14:58:22 - 00:15:01:23
I was with another girl who was doing some promotional work with me

Clara:
00:15:02:07 - 00:15:03:23
and we were backstage

Clara:
00:15:04:12 - 00:15:06:19
wasn't actually Jared Leto who approached me.

Clara:
00:15:07:02 - 00:15:07:24
He had sent a

Clara:
00:15:07:24 - 00:15:12:04
an acquaintance of his who probably in his 40s, he was a comedian

Clara:
00:15:13:01 - 00:15:18:23
and he told me, Jerrod's seeing you from wherever he is over there, and he was interested in getting your number

Speaker 1:
00:15:19:13 - 00:15:20:15
was very good looking.

Speaker 1:
00:15:21:03 - 00:15:22:09
He was a very good looking guy

Clara:
00:15:22:22 - 00:15:31:24
you know most young girls saw him very much as a heartthrob, you know very handsome, great features, professionally very good at what he did as an actor, as a singer.

Clara:
00:15:32:11 - 00:15:32:18
There

Clara:
00:15:32:18 - 00:15:35:08
he was very magnetic, he was a very magnetic person

Clara:
00:15:35:17 - 00:15:41:14
And we had exchanged information, but I didn't actually meet him at that venue at that time

Clara:
00:15:42:04 - 00:15:45:11
So sometime after that, after there had been some text exchanges

Clara:
00:15:46:02 - 00:15:54:00
invited me to meet him at a place called the Chateau Marremont, which is right there in the main area of Hollywood, off one of the main streets

Clara:
00:15:54:16 - 00:16:03:24
It's a very kind of secluded upscale place where they cater to a lot of A-list celebrities, so it was intimidating at first going in there

Clara:
00:16:04:16 - 00:16:05:10
kind of waved us over.

Clara:
00:16:05:14 - 00:16:08:18
We sat down, my friend and I, and just

Clara:
00:16:08:23 - 00:16:13:03
had kind of drifted into the realm to talk about the age of consent and

Clara:
00:16:13:03 - 00:16:24:09
for Jared specifically we were going back and forth about the age of consent and I had mentioned to him that my dad was in law enforcement, that I knew with certainty that

Clara:
00:16:24:13 - 00:16:26:22
here in California the age of consent is 18

Clara:
00:16:27:19 - 00:16:41:17
so there were some conversations going around about well maybe in different states it could be different and that there was a possibility that in different areas they had different laws of things and I told him I don't really know about that.

Clara:
00:16:41:19 - 00:16:46:19
I can't speak to it because I don't know but I know for sure here in California the age of consent is

Speaker 1:
00:16:48:03 - 00:16:50:05
And he knew at that point that you were 17

Clara:
00:16:50:09 - 00:16:51:04
Oh yes he did know

Speaker 1:
00:16:51:07 - 00:16:52:09
how old was he at this time

Clara:
00:16:52:10 - 00:16:55:07
He must have been about 35 at the time

Clara:
00:16:55:22 - 00:16:57:11
I had pulled up to his residence.

Clara:
00:16:57:15 - 00:16:58:18
I let him know that I was there.

Clara:
00:16:59:03 - 00:17:04:22
He came, he opened the door, and he had told me that in his living room, he was in the middle of some sort of interview.

Clara:
00:17:05:01 - 00:17:06:01
So he let me in the house.

Clara:
00:17:07:03 - 00:17:14:22
I went down the hallway into his bedroom, and he had made a comment of by the time I get back, I would like our clothes to be off.

Clara:
00:17:15:23 - 00:17:25:23
So he had gone out, finished the interview, he had come back in the room, and he said when he noticed that I was undressed, he said something to the effect of brave little girl

Clara:
00:17:26:03 - 00:17:32:06
was this theme that he kind of stuck with, the comments of little girl.

Clara:
00:17:32:15 - 00:17:35:06
That was something that he had mentioned a few times.

Clara:
00:17:35:10 - 00:17:47:00
And so there was one time in particular where I had gone over and things started to get intimate and there was a comment at the beginning of it when it was first starting.

Clara:
00:17:47:12 - 00:17:51:12
He said something to the effect of, I would like you to call me daddy.

Clara:
00:17:51:12 - 00:17:55:12
And it was either, and pretend to be a little girl or my little girl.

Clara:
00:17:55:24 - 00:18:04:14
So that was maybe the second or third time that he had made comments like that about seeing or wanting to imagining me as a younger girl

Clara:
00:18:04:22 - 00:18:12:09
the image that I had, especially at that age of using that word because I was young, was associated with a father figure.

Clara:
00:18:12:14 - 00:18:14:17
It wasn't associated with anything intimate.

Clara:
00:18:15:01 - 00:18:17:24
And so that was probably the most uncomfortable he had ever made me

Clara:
00:18:18:07 - 00:18:23:12
I had so little exposure to anything sexual really at that time as a teenager

Clara:
00:18:24:04 - 00:18:28:16
Is this what is expected when you're intimate with somebody older

Clara:
00:18:29:09 - 00:18:30:03
Is this what they say?

Clara:
00:18:30:06 - 00:18:31:00
Is this what they do

Clara:
00:18:31:08 - 00:18:32:12
just wondering if it was normal

Clara:
00:18:32:18 - 00:18:35:08
I really didn't know how to feel about it, but

Clara:
00:18:35:08 - 00:18:39:02
But physically, I just remember feeling really withdrawn and uncomfortable

Speaker 1:
00:18:39:14 - 00:18:51:10
that age, I had just been coming out of a really awkward time in adolescence and I had always, ever since being a young girl, been very, very shy, painfully shy

Speaker 1:
00:18:51:20 - 00:18:52:20
I blush a lot.

Speaker 1:
00:18:53:02 - 00:18:54:08
I trip over my words

Speaker 1:
00:18:54:17 - 00:19:17:12
And I started to get just a little bit of self-confidence around that age, around 17, but still was very much struggling with things like eye contact or being able to speak without needing to take a lot of breaks between it so I could think about what I was saying or making sure I wasn't feeling foolish about what I was talking about.

Speaker 1:
00:19:17:19 - 00:19:25:18
So I really started to come into my own around that age, but I still significantly struggled with it, about verbalizing things, about putting up boundaries

Speaker 1:
00:19:26:00 - 00:19:26:14
things like that

Speaker 1:
00:19:26:17 - 00:19:35:21
And part of being really shy, I think at that age was also being surprised that someone who was as good looking as him would be interested in me at all

Speaker 1:
00:19:36:08 - 00:19:42:02
at my high school who had known what was going on were very interested in it.

Speaker 1:
00:19:42:11 - 00:19:45:05
You know, a lot of them had really thought he was very handsome

Speaker 1:
00:19:45:17 - 00:19:49:23
was a joke, like take one for the team because we all want to know, like what is he like?

Speaker 1:
00:19:50:02 - 00:19:51:05
Is he really good looking in person?

Speaker 1:
00:19:51:10 - 00:19:52:03
What's his house like

Speaker 1:
00:19:52:20 - 00:19:56:09
had flown out to the east coast to visit a friend of mine and Have

Speaker 1:
00:19:56:09 - 00:20:02:11
again, he invited me he left tickets through my friend and I and We had shown up my friend at the time

Speaker 1:
00:20:02:14 - 00:20:05:10
All she knew was that we were sleeping together when I was under each That

Speaker 1:
00:20:05:12 - 00:20:07:15
watched the show and afterwards.

Speaker 1:
00:20:07:15 - 00:20:10:17
He told me, you know, I'm staying here We're

Speaker 1:
00:20:10:19 - 00:20:11:14
Come meet up

Speaker 1:
00:20:11:14 - 00:20:19:17
I don't know at what point this happened But my friend ended up later telling me that he exposed himself to her

Speaker 1:
00:20:20:13 - 00:20:31:01
as time went on I realized more and more how scary that really was being that age and Being so naive and vulnerable.

Speaker 1:
00:20:31:11 - 00:20:36:21
I feel like I feel glad that it didn't get worse than

Speaker 1:
00:20:36:24 - 00:20:46:16
There is no well adjusted man in his 30s who's going to look at a 17 year old and think, you know, wow she's very mature.

Speaker 1:
00:20:46:23 - 00:20:48:00
She would be a great partner

Speaker 1:
00:20:48:09 - 00:20:50:13
intellectually on my same level.

Speaker 1:
00:20:50:13 - 00:20:50:22
There's

Speaker 1:
00:20:50:24 - 00:20:54:20
The only reason to approach somebody like that

Speaker 1:
00:20:55:07 - 00:20:58:04
is because of how easily manipulated they are

Speaker 2:
00:20:59:17 - 00:21:07:00
state of California a 17 year old cannot legally give Consent to sleep with somebody over the age of 18.

Speaker 4:
00:21:07:01 - 00:21:10:03
So it would be considered statutory rape.

Speaker 4:
00:21:13:02 - 00:21:19:19
I Think that being something where you're being held down and forced but that is not all that encompasses rape.

Speaker 4:
00:21:20:03 - 00:21:25:15
So Legally anything under 18 would be called statutory rape

Speaker 4:
00:21:26:14 - 00:21:31:20
never really truly considered myself someone who was a victim of statutory rape

Speaker 2:
00:22:09:02 - 00:22:28:15
there was another time where he had hosted a pool party at his house and I had brought a friend of mine who was also underage at the time and when we got there we kind of got down the stairs and I was really taken aback by the number of young looking young ladies and older men

Speaker 2:
00:22:29:12 - 00:22:35:17
a very small amount of men there and it was very disproportionate to the amount of young looking women there

Speaker 1:
00:22:46:15 - 00:22:52:07
as a teenager I was very much so a punk goth kid

Speaker 1:
00:22:52:15 - 00:22:53:20
I had colored hair.

Speaker 1:
00:22:53:23 - 00:22:54:19
I wore fishnets.

Speaker 1:
00:22:54:21 - 00:22:55:17
I wore black lipstick.

Speaker 1:
00:22:55:24 - 00:22:57:08
I wore black nail polish

Speaker 1:
00:22:57:14 - 00:23:00:14
wore my slipknot hoodie every single day to school.

Speaker 1:
00:23:00:18 - 00:23:02:07
We couldn't get it off of me if you tried

Speaker 1:
00:23:02:22 - 00:23:05:00
scene was so supportive.

Speaker 1:
00:23:05:13 - 00:23:07:05
We would go to concerts all the time

Speaker 1:
00:23:07:11 - 00:23:12:10
it was just a sense of a community and the kindness of the people.

Speaker 1:
00:23:12:10 - 00:23:16:02
Like it's otherworldly, it really is

Speaker 1:
00:23:17:00 - 00:23:20:15
Back then I was listening to a lot of like I said Alien Ant Farm

Speaker 1:
00:23:21:15 - 00:23:23:05
Slipknot was definitely

Speaker 1:
00:23:24:03 - 00:23:25:19
Seconds to Mars was one of them

Speaker 1:
00:23:26:03 - 00:23:32:03
The first time I ever heard 30 Seconds to Mars was on the radio and I was instantly hooked

Speaker 1:
00:23:32:11 - 00:23:33:11
loved them.

Speaker 1:
00:23:34:04 - 00:23:36:18
I was literally listening to the kill on repeat

Speaker 1:
00:23:37:20 - 00:23:42:18
It wasn't even until a couple of months after I was introduced to 30 Seconds to Mars that I found out who Jared Leto was

Speaker 1:
00:23:43:11 - 00:23:44:09
I thought he was very attractive.

Speaker 1:
00:23:44:16 - 00:23:45:15
I thought he was very handsome.

Speaker 1:
00:23:45:21 - 00:23:47:00
He's got a very strong jawline.

Speaker 1:
00:23:47:04 - 00:23:48:04
It's something I like in a man.

Speaker 1:
00:23:48:18 - 00:23:51:02
So, I'm sorry

Speaker 1:
00:23:53:00 - 00:23:54:16
saw 30 seconds to Mars for

Speaker 1:
00:23:54:16 - 00:23:56:13
at the 99 X Miss Ball.

Speaker 1:
00:23:57:02 - 00:23:58:20
My mom got me tickets because

Speaker 1:
00:23:59:02 - 00:24:00:16
I could not wait.

Speaker 1:
00:24:00:21 - 00:24:03:03
December 2nd, 2005, I was ready.

Speaker 1:
00:24:03:10 - 00:24:04:18
I was so ready to go

Speaker 1:
00:24:04:23 - 00:24:09:20
I was very excited to see Jared Leto as a 14-year-old girl with a little crush on him.

Speaker 1:
00:24:09:23 - 00:24:10:18
I was very excited.

Speaker 3:
00:24:11:09 - 00:24:12:19
Did you know how old he was at the time?

Speaker 1:
00:24:13:12 - 00:24:15:19
No, I did not know how old he was at the time.

Speaker 1:
00:24:16:05 - 00:24:17:04
I had no idea.

Speaker 1:
00:24:17:09 - 00:24:20:16
I did know that he was a grown man though by looking at him.

Speaker 1:
00:24:21:03 - 00:24:24:11
I could definitely tell that he was not my age

Speaker 1:
00:24:25:05 - 00:24:26:08
I was 14 years old

Speaker 1:
00:24:27:04 - 00:24:28:05
I had pink hair

Speaker 1:
00:24:28:15 - 00:24:29:11
I was very short.

Speaker 1:
00:24:29:18 - 00:24:31:04
I was probably about 4'8.

Speaker 1:
00:24:31:04 - 00:24:31:16
I

Speaker 1:
00:24:31:17 - 00:24:32:03
I had braces.

Speaker 1:
00:24:32:20 - 00:24:35:14
It was very obvious that I was a teenager

Speaker 1:
00:24:36:24 - 00:24:39:03
The concert itself was absolutely amazing

Speaker 1:
00:24:39:21 - 00:24:52:10
So 30 Seconds to Mars gets off stage and at the end of every set, they were going back to their merch table and allowing people to get autographs and meet them and buy merch and see the bands.

Speaker 1:
00:24:53:07 - 00:24:58:21
So I had already seen...I don't remember what order it was.

Speaker 1:
00:24:59:03 - 00:25:07:22
I had already seen a couple of the other bands and gotten some autographs and I was really excited to make my way to 30 Seconds to Mars.

Speaker 1:
00:25:07:22 - 00:25:09:05
I mean, I booked it.

Speaker 1:
00:25:09:13 - 00:25:13:06
I ran to the autograph table to

Speaker 1:
00:25:13:13 - 00:25:25:24
As a 14-year-old kid, I'm, you know, I'm as scary sometimes walking up to, especially somebody famous and, you know, trying to be like, Oh my God, I love your band.

Speaker 1:
00:25:25:24 - 00:25:28:13
You know, like you guys are so fantastic but

Speaker 1:
00:25:28:15 - 00:25:35:22
I met with one of the band members who ended up signing my shirt across, you know, across the lower part of my shirt.

Speaker 1:
00:25:36:08 - 00:25:40:14
And then my next person in line to me was Jared Leto.

Speaker 1:
00:25:41:01 - 00:25:49:07
And I was so excited and I walked up to him and, you know, told him, I'm a huge fan.

Speaker 1:
00:25:49:21 - 00:25:51:05
Will you please sign my shirt?

Speaker 1:
00:25:51:05 - 00:25:56:07
And I held my shirt out for him to sign, hopefully on an arm or maybe on the belly.

Speaker 1:
00:25:56:23 - 00:26:01:15
And instead he chose to sign my shirt across my breasts

Speaker 1:
00:26:05:01 - 00:26:07:16
proceeded to tell me that I have a nice rack

Speaker 1:
00:26:08:06 - 00:26:14:01
And in that time frame Jared Leto was asking his bodyguard to go ahead and take me backstage

Speaker 2:
00:26:14:18 - 00:26:16:22
He didn't even ask me if I wanted to go backstage.

Speaker 2:
00:26:16:22 - 00:26:20:05
He literally looked at his security guard and said take her back

Speaker 1:
00:26:21:02 - 00:26:29:20
And my mother who was standing next to me talking to another band member turned around and was like, That's my daughter.

Speaker 1:
00:26:30:08 - 00:26:32:04
She's fucking 14

Speaker 1:
00:26:32:12 - 00:26:37:07
And my mom snatched at my arm and he looked at her and said, It's still a nice rack

Speaker 1:
00:26:39:08 - 00:26:41:07
I felt horrible.

Speaker 1:
00:26:41:21 - 00:26:43:08
I had no idea what to do.

Speaker 1:
00:26:43:08 - 00:26:52:07
I stood there in shock at this grown man complimenting my nice rack and asking his security guard to take her, take her back.

Speaker 1:
00:26:52:24 - 00:27:02:11
And my mom is screaming at him in this time frame and he still just has the audacity to look at my mother and be like, It's still a nice rack as she's walking away with me.

Speaker 1:
00:27:02:11 - 00:27:03:24
Like he still just has the audacity.

Speaker 1:
00:27:04:03 - 00:27:05:04
He just did not care.

Speaker 1:
00:27:06:07 - 00:27:07:15
He did not care

Speaker 1:
00:27:08:20 - 00:27:10:01
He had a smirk on his face.

Speaker 1:
00:27:10:18 - 00:27:11:23
He did not care.

Speaker 1:
00:27:12:06 - 00:27:16:11
He was just so like, this is just another day for me.

Speaker 1:
00:27:16:11 - 00:27:18:03
I think he thought maybe it was funny.

Speaker 1:
00:27:19:09 - 00:27:21:14
Maybe he got a little good kick out of it

Speaker 2:
00:27:22:09 - 00:27:23:11
Oh, my mom was going to kill me

Speaker 1:
00:27:23:16 - 00:27:30:03
So and we ended up leaving my mom, but out of that festival we went home.

Speaker 1:
00:27:30:07 - 00:27:31:21
We didn't get to stay and finish the concert.

Speaker 1:
00:27:32:03 - 00:27:33:10
My mom took me home

Speaker 1:
00:27:36:11 - 00:27:40:21
As the days passed on after that, I continued to just feel absolutely horrible.

Speaker 1:
00:27:40:21 - 00:27:41:12
There

Speaker 1:
00:27:41:18 - 00:27:45:19
I was confiding in my friends and even my friends were like, That's messed up

Speaker 3:
00:27:46:16 - 00:27:49:06
Had it ever happened with any of the other bands you'd ever seen?

Speaker 1:
00:27:49:11 - 00:27:52:17
I had never had that experience before meeting 30 Seconds to Mars.

Speaker 1:
00:27:54:06 - 00:27:54:14
Never.

Speaker 1:
00:27:56:19 - 00:27:57:13
I didn't

Speaker 1:
00:27:58:10 - 00:28:00:10
I stopped going to concerts altogether up

Speaker 1:
00:28:00:10 - 00:28:03:12
I stopped listening to that kind of music

Speaker 1:
00:28:03:16 - 00:28:07:14
This was not a pleasant experience to have to go through you

Speaker 1:
00:28:08:00 - 00:28:10:13
Definitely felt like I had been assaulted I

Speaker 1:
00:28:10:21 - 00:28:16:09
It really altered my life in a real way

Speaker 1:
00:28:17:00 - 00:28:20:07
was 14 and that was supposed to be a sense of community for me.

Speaker 1:
00:28:20:20 - 00:28:24:04
Things like that were not supposed to happen in my community.

Speaker 1:
00:28:24:15 - 00:28:26:10
Things like that aren't supposed to happen at metal shows.

Speaker 1:
00:28:26:15 - 00:28:27:04
I'm gonna cry.

Speaker 1:
00:28:27:24 - 00:28:33:20
Things like that are supposed to happen when you are supposed to be enjoying yourself.

Speaker 1:
00:28:34:14 - 00:28:36:18
You're not supposed to have things like that happen to you

Speaker 1:
00:28:48:23 - 00:28:52:09
I mean, how do you confront a famous person?

Speaker 1:
00:28:52:18 - 00:28:56:19
How do you handle that situation as a parent even

Speaker 1:
00:28:57:16 - 00:29:01:18
I think he chose to behave the way that he did because he felt like maybe he had power

Speaker 1:
00:29:02:07 - 00:29:04:05
But that doesn't mean that you get to be disrespectful.

Speaker 1:
00:29:04:16 - 00:29:07:08
Doesn't mean that you get to be a weirdo.

Speaker 1:
00:29:08:03 - 00:29:08:22
I'm sorry.

Speaker 1:
00:29:10:15 - 00:29:11:01
I

Speaker 1:
00:29:11:03 - 00:29:18:21
It doesn't mean that you get to take advantage of people in such a vulnerable situation when all we're trying to do is appreciate you

Speaker 1:
00:29:19:20 - 00:29:22:20
position, he just didn't care.

Speaker 1:
00:29:23:07 - 00:29:24:15
I think it's really what it is

Speaker 2:
00:29:29:24 - 00:29:36:21
I was 15 is when I started going to concerts and really exploring what music meant to me

Speaker 2:
00:29:37:17 - 00:29:45:24
started more so with local bands and going and seeing them, and then more bands that I was interested in started touring in my area

Speaker 2:
00:29:46:08 - 00:29:50:12
was heavy and had great lyrics, that's what I was all about.

Speaker 3:
00:29:50:12 - 00:29:50:19
Was

Speaker 2:
00:29:50:22 - 00:29:54:14
punk, emo, anything that was alternative

Speaker 2:
00:29:55:02 - 00:29:59:08
I had long bangs and spiky hair, it was half red and half black

Speaker 2:
00:29:59:18 - 00:30:00:05
Tour was

Speaker 2:
00:30:00:06 - 00:30:05:07
was something that would travel around the U.S. and there were 30, 40 bands that would play.

Speaker 2:
00:30:05:07 - 00:30:10:08
You would show up at 11 o'clock in the morning and be there until about 11 p.m

Speaker 2:
00:30:10:14 - 00:30:11:23
it's been around for over 30 years

Speaker 2:
00:30:12:05 - 00:30:15:20
one of the best points of my summer every year

Speaker 2:
00:30:15:20 - 00:30:22:10
Warp Tour 2006 was the first time I was gonna travel out of New Mexico to go to Warp Tour

Speaker 2:
00:30:22:17 - 00:30:24:11
So I was 17 at the time and

Speaker 2:
00:30:24:21 - 00:30:27:07
bands that I was most excited to see was 30 Seconds to Mars 'cause

Speaker 2:
00:30:27:07 - 00:30:29:04
I was just a huge fan.

Speaker 2:
00:30:29:07 - 00:30:35:19
I had a massive crush on Jared Leto, of course, watching, growing up, watching Fight Club and Rook Room for a Dream

Speaker 2:
00:30:36:02 - 00:30:44:03
So I was actually backstage at the time before they went on and was able to be on the stage while they played

Speaker 2:
00:30:44:07 - 00:30:47:16
it was an amazing feeling being so close to the band

Speaker 2:
00:30:47:18 - 00:30:53:04
I had told my brother, I was like, really, I wanna meet him, I wanna see if I can get a picture with him.

Speaker 2:
00:30:54:23 - 00:30:57:24
And my brother was like, you know, I mean, yeah, do it.

Speaker 2:
00:30:58:03 - 00:30:58:23
Like, go ahead, do it.

Speaker 2:
00:30:59:00 - 00:30:59:09
Like he

Speaker 2:
00:30:59:10 - 00:31:00:23
So he was like, do it, I'll take the picture.

Speaker 2:
00:31:01:02 - 00:31:01:15
Like it's fine.

Speaker 2:
00:31:03:17 - 00:31:09:24
And I remember like approaching and being like, hey, can we get a picture with you?

Speaker 2:
00:31:10:05 - 00:31:10:08
Like

Speaker 2:
00:31:10:15 - 00:31:11:19
agreed to take the picture

Speaker 2:
00:31:12:08 - 00:31:19:19
that's when my brother kind of turned around and walked away from us so that he could get in a better place for taking a picture

Speaker 2:
00:31:19:23 - 00:31:26:24
we're just out right behind the stage, the open parking lot behind us, you know, people probably walking by and things like that

Speaker 2:
00:31:27:03 - 00:31:39:18
I was pretty excited, you know, being close to somebody that you admire is always exciting but also nerve wracking experience because you don't want to say something silly.

Speaker 2:
00:31:39:23 - 00:31:44:13
And me being like a 17 year old, I'm like, oh man, you know, he's so cool.

Speaker 2:
00:31:44:13 - 00:31:47:07
And like I just wanted to be so cool

Speaker 2:
00:31:47:08 - 00:31:58:18
standing next to each other for the picture, I could feel him put his hand on my back and my brother was walking away and I could feel his hand start going down.

Speaker 2:
00:32:01:21 - 00:32:05:09
And I wasn't

Speaker 2:
00:32:05:24 - 00:32:18:02
know, I was, it was work tour, it's hot, I'm in a bikini top in tiny little shorts and his hand continues to go down and I feel him

Speaker 2:
00:32:19:02 - 00:32:49:07
one of his fingers penetrated me, imagine Lee. And it wasn't a quick pull away or anything like that, it was just kind of a slide back out and at that point my brother snapped the picture and I was kind of frozen and I didn't know what to say, I didn't know what to do

Speaker 2:
00:32:49:22 - 00:32:56:18
wanted to tell my brother, but I was so afraid

Speaker 2:
00:32:57:01 - 00:33:07:17
he knew that somebody had just touched me that way without my consent, without being an adult

Speaker 2:
00:33:08:18 - 00:33:11:12
I know that he would have, he would have gone after that man.

Speaker 2:
00:33:13:13 - 00:33:21:05
And I wasn't gonna chance something happening to him because of what this man decided to do

Speaker 2:
00:33:23:16 - 00:33:27:06
that was it, we just walked away and I

Speaker 2:
00:33:27:17 - 00:33:29:15
I just had to,

Speaker 2:
00:33:33:02 - 00:33:33:14
continue

Speaker 2:
00:33:34:10 - 00:33:40:04
there's the thoughts you go of like, Well, did that happen?

Speaker 2:
00:33:40:18 - 00:33:41:21
Did I imagine that?

Speaker 2:
00:33:42:07 - 00:33:45:16
Is that like that couldn't, I think you wouldn't have done that?

Speaker 1:
00:33:45:16 - 00:33:45:16
Like

Speaker 2:
00:33:47:02 - 00:33:48:23
That was something that was pushed upon me.

Speaker 2:
00:33:49:13 - 00:33:52:23
I was 17 year olds and trying to enjoy our tour

Speaker 2:
00:33:54:09 - 00:33:55:15
Now I knew he was older than me

Speaker 3:
00:33:55:19 - 00:33:57:11
In 2006, he was 35

Speaker 2:
00:33:58:09 - 00:34:02:22
of course, when I think about it, it took two seconds and it also took forever.

Speaker 2:
00:34:02:22 - 00:34:05:05
Like it was the longest and shortest experience

Speaker 2:
00:34:05:09 - 00:34:10:15
it was something that he felt he was allowed to do, that he had the right

Speaker 2:
00:34:11:15 - 00:34:17:19
He didn't know, he couldn't have known what the reaction was going to be, but he was confident that nothing was going to happen.

Speaker 2:
00:34:18:17 - 00:34:32:13
And that I think scares me more than anything else because how do you have that confidence of doing what you want, knowing that it's wrong, and doing it anyways

Speaker 2:
00:34:33:06 - 00:34:42:09
My step-sister and I would always talk about, If that happened to us, we would do XYZ. They would never be able to touch us

Speaker 2:
00:34:42:10 - 00:34:53:06
growing up, I felt confident that if somebody was going to do anything to me, that I would be able to protect myself in that situation and that it could not happen to me

Speaker 2:
00:34:53:09 - 00:34:56:22
Once I was in that situation, myself, I froze.

Speaker 2:
00:34:59:05 - 00:35:02:07
And I was scared

Speaker 2:
00:35:02:20 - 00:35:12:13
I was scared for myself, but I was very scared of what could happen if I voiced what had just happened

Speaker 2:
00:35:13:24 - 00:35:17:14
we would we always had the Kodak disposable cameras and we

Speaker 2:
00:35:17:15 - 00:35:26:02
would take them to Walgreens to get developed and there is always that anticipation of you know What are the pictures actually gonna look like because you had no idea?

Speaker 2:
00:35:27:11 - 00:35:29:18
But I didn't have that anticipation when

Speaker 2:
00:35:29:23 - 00:35:35:19
when I got the The little packet from Walgreens, you know I went and picked it up

Speaker 2:
00:35:37:13 - 00:35:43:20
And I remember seeing it I remember Getting rid of it

Speaker 2:
00:35:46:16 - 00:35:56:24
wasn't anything that I ever wanted to have to look back on ever So I threw it away

Speaker 2:
00:35:57:16 - 00:36:02:09
I Know that the face that I had in the photo when I looked at it.

Speaker 2:
00:36:02:13 - 00:36:04:04
I was not smiling I

Speaker 2:
00:36:05:04 - 00:36:10:22
it captured like the moment my body was like I was leaving my body I

Speaker 2:
00:36:10:22 - 00:36:14:21
and he definitely tried not to focus on his face and

Taraya:
00:36:42:07 - 00:36:43:16
family's super traditional.

Taraya:
00:36:44:05 - 00:36:45:24
Mom and dad, both pastors kids

Taraya:
00:36:46:17 - 00:36:47:20
grew up in a cul-de-sac.

Taraya:
00:36:48:03 - 00:36:50:22
Every house on the block also had kids.

Taraya:
00:36:51:21 - 00:36:58:06
So just the picture perfect Americana childhood of going to church every Sunday and

Taraya:
00:36:58:08 - 00:37:01:22
we just played outside until the street lights came on

Taraya:
00:37:02:22 - 00:37:07:19
my 20s, I spent a lot of time trying to find myself and my own voice.

Taraya:
00:37:08:09 - 00:37:11:04
So I was partying a lot, drinking a lot

Taraya:
00:37:11:13 - 00:37:12:21
had two very good friends.

Taraya:
00:37:12:23 - 00:37:13:21
We were actually roommates

Taraya:
00:37:14:07 - 00:37:19:10
and we would go to work and then come home and get ready and go out for the night

Taraya:
00:37:19:11 - 00:37:27:18
And just being young and knowing, you know, people throughout the industry, we would go to some pretty big parties with different celebrities

Taraya:
00:37:28:00 - 00:37:38:18
not uncommon for us to go out and after an event or a show or a concert end up hanging out and partying with whoever it was who was in town for

Taraya:
00:37:38:18 - 00:37:39:21
one of my roommates

Taraya:
00:37:40:00 - 00:37:48:22
She had gone to one of the concerts for 30 seconds to Mars years prior, a couple years prior with her mom.

Taraya:
00:37:48:23 - 00:37:54:22
And when she was at the show, Jared singled her out from the crowd

Taraya:
00:37:55:01 - 00:38:01:22
So he actually, and her mom were invited to go backstage after the show to meet him and hang out.

Taraya:
00:38:02:12 - 00:38:04:17
And at that point they exchanged numbers.

Taraya:
00:38:05:04 - 00:38:10:18
And so then from then on, anytime Jared was in town, he would text my friend and let her know, Hey, I'm here.

Taraya:
00:38:11:07 - 00:38:12:21
Let's meet up and hang out

Taraya:
00:38:13:01 - 00:38:14:23
particular night, I

Taraya:
00:38:14:23 - 00:38:16:05
asked us to come out for drinks

Taraya:
00:38:16:08 - 00:38:20:00
Honestly, it's Jared Leto, you know, Oscar winning actor.

Taraya:
00:38:20:05 - 00:38:21:07
We're going to go out for drinks.

Taraya:
00:38:21:09 - 00:38:22:15
This sounds like so much fun

Taraya:
00:38:22:21 - 00:38:24:09
they were staying at the W at the time.

Taraya:
00:38:24:09 - 00:38:26:02
So he said, just meet us at the bar.

Taraya:
00:38:26:05 - 00:38:27:09
We're at the hotel now

Taraya:
00:38:28:14 - 00:38:31:12
as we're approaching the bar, it was obviously dead.

Taraya:
00:38:31:15 - 00:38:32:15
There was no one in there.

Taraya:
00:38:34:03 - 00:38:36:14
And so we texted and said, Hey, we're here.

Taraya:
00:38:36:19 - 00:38:37:13
I don't see anybody.

Taraya:
00:38:37:14 - 00:38:40:09
And he said, Oh, we, I came up to the room.

Taraya:
00:38:41:05 - 00:38:44:04
So just, just come on upstairs told us the room number.

Taraya:
00:38:44:10 - 00:38:46:24
So we could just go on upstairs instead

Taraya:
00:38:47:12 - 00:38:49:21
we got up to the hotel room

Taraya:
00:38:50:03 - 00:38:50:24
let us in.

Taraya:
00:38:51:06 - 00:38:58:16
And instead of like being ready to go out or do anything, he just sat down on the bed and there were chairs.

Taraya:
00:38:59:02 - 00:39:04:15
So we just thought, okay, I apparently we're just going to hang out here

Taraya:
00:39:04:22 - 00:39:10:20
he didn't even like offer us a glass of water or anything like it was, it was just very strange.

Taraya:
00:39:10:22 - 00:39:13:13
It was very just dull.

Taraya:
00:39:13:23 - 00:39:16:02
I is the only way I can really think to describe it.

Taraya:
00:39:16:03 - 00:39:17:02
It was just dull

Taraya:
00:39:17:11 - 00:39:20:09
was like, okay, so I guess we're just going to be here for a conversation.

Taraya:
00:39:20:09 - 00:39:25:12
But then he also seemed completely disinterested in having a conversation.

Taraya:
00:39:25:21 - 00:39:27:04
It was like pulling teeth

Taraya:
00:39:27:15 - 00:39:34:01
So it was just I mean, really the only way I can think to describe it is stale like the energy in the room was stale.

Taraya:
00:39:34:05 - 00:39:41:09
It was just work like the three of us are like nudging each other like, okay, you come up with something to say you come up with something to talk about

Taraya:
00:39:41:17 - 00:39:44:20
I just remember thinking, why are we even here?

Taraya:
00:39:45:07 - 00:39:47:17
Like, what, this isn't fun for him.

Taraya:
00:39:47:23 - 00:39:49:10
This isn't fun for us.

Taraya:
00:39:49:22 - 00:39:52:15
Like, why did I why did I get ready for this?

Taraya:
00:39:53:10 - 00:39:54:17
I could be at home on my slept.

Taraya:
00:39:55:04 - 00:39:56:17
Like this

Taraya:
00:39:56:17 - 00:40:03:05
So then he's he I guess decided to take over the conversation and and start coming up with the topics.

Taraya:
00:40:03:05 - 00:40:09:23
So he starts telling us about every celebrity female who he's been intimate with as

Taraya:
00:40:09:23 - 00:40:12:00
it was very uncomfortable.

Taraya:
00:40:12:14 - 00:40:16:19
And so at this point, I kind of feel myself retreating into myself.

Taraya:
00:40:16:22 - 00:40:19:14
Like this is like, I'm not enjoying this conversation.

Taraya:
00:40:19:20 - 00:40:22:20
So I wasn't really paying attention to what was going on.

Taraya:
00:40:22:21 - 00:40:27:09
And so then my friend who was sitting next to me started nudging me again.

Taraya:
00:40:27:12 - 00:40:28:01
And

Taraya:
00:40:28:02 - 00:40:37:15
that's when I looked and saw that he had actually pulled the blanket over himself had pulled his penis out of his pants and was masturbating under the covers as

Taraya:
00:40:37:15 - 00:40:48:11
what is happening why is he doing this it was quite obvious to see that he was masturbating

Taraya:
00:40:49:09 - 00:41:00:09
movements under the under the blanket were very obviously stroking motions up and down directly where his penis was

Taraya:
00:41:00:11 - 00:41:01:18
Anyone got a banana?

Taraya:
00:41:02:02 - 00:41:02:13
I can show.

Taraya:
00:41:07:10 - 00:41:08:08
Okay, right.

Taraya:
00:41:08:16 - 00:41:09:04
Mini cucumber.

Alice:
00:41:10:02 - 00:41:10:14
Maybe

Taraya:
00:41:11:19 - 00:41:15:18
while we were sitting there he's masturbating under the covers which

Taraya:
00:41:15:18 - 00:41:21:23
he's bragging about sleeping with Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan and as

Taraya:
00:41:21:23 - 00:41:29:16
like what woman is sitting there thinking oh you've slept with so many other women let me jump aboard like

Taraya:
00:41:29:21 - 00:41:32:02
okay, what like, what are we doing here?

Taraya:
00:41:32:09 - 00:41:34:12
What like, this is not what we signed up for.

Taraya:
00:41:34:15 - 00:41:39:23
And that's when he said, well, I've had lots of three sums before, but I've never had a four sum.

Taraya:
00:41:40:10 - 00:41:46:19
And as soon as he said that the three of us just stood up simultaneously, as we all just knew we are getting out of here.

Taraya:
00:41:47:01 - 00:41:50:22
And it was my girlfriend who said, Well, tonight's not the night that you are.

Taraya:
00:41:51:01 - 00:41:55:07
And we just turned around and walked out of the room

Taraya:
00:41:55:15 - 00:42:11:05
no prompt, no request, no environment where it would make sense to just pull out his penis and start playing with himself in front of us as if that was completely normal was shocking

Taraya:
00:42:11:22 - 00:42:16:00
I don't even know that he knows that it's inappropriate to have done it.

Taraya:
00:42:16:04 - 00:42:18:24
It was so casual and comfortable for him

Taraya:
00:42:19:15 - 00:42:22:08
I think people are really drawn to Jared Leto.

Taraya:
00:42:22:18 - 00:42:26:03
There's just a mysterious air about him

Taraya:
00:42:26:14 - 00:42:33:18
but what I realized upon meeting him and spending time with him in close quarters, it's not that there is an air of mystery.

Taraya:
00:42:34:06 - 00:42:37:01
It's that there's just nothing behind the facade

Speaker 1:
00:43:12:03 - 00:43:12:17
mewn ddweud i'r

Speaker 1:
00:43:12:21 - 00:43:13:20
ddweud i ni yw ddweud diwethaf

Speaker 1:
00:43:14:07 - 00:43:18:10
ddweud i ddweud i ddweud i'u ddweud o'r modd a'r modd, o'r ddweud i'r ddweud.

Speaker 1:
00:43:19:01 - 00:43:25:11
A sy'n gweithio i ddatblygu ddweud y modd yn dweud i'r ffordd i fath a'r bod i ddeugodd

Speaker 1:
00:43:26:21 - 00:43:34:11
moved to London in 2013 when I was 19

Speaker 1:
00:43:35:03 - 00:43:39:02
I started doing quite a lot of work.

Speaker 1:
00:43:39:16 - 00:43:41:21
I was working a lot for Stella McCartney

Speaker 1:
00:43:42:00 - 00:43:48:04
there was a manager who told me that there are models who are getting invited to 30 seconds of Mars.

Speaker 1:
00:43:48:22 - 00:43:58:20
So they had put out an invitation that we could go and see the show and then there was also a VIP meet up afterwards that we could go to

Speaker 1:
00:43:59:05 - 00:44:00:20
didn't know a lot about Jared.

Speaker 1:
00:44:01:24 - 00:44:05:18
I had seen him obviously in some movies

Speaker 1:
00:44:06:03 - 00:44:13:17
I knew 30 seconds to Mars before I had listened to some of their first albums and I liked that.

Speaker 1:
00:44:13:17 - 00:44:20:05
I like rock and I like metal music so I liked some of their early stuff

Speaker 1:
00:44:20:21 - 00:44:24:03
concert was at the O2. I had never been there.

Speaker 1:
00:44:25:03 - 00:44:34:16
And the model I was supposed to go with gotts ill so I had to go by myself and that was a little bit scary

Speaker 1:
00:44:36:03 - 00:44:38:10
It was a good concert I remember

Speaker 1:
00:44:39:13 - 00:44:44:08
Afterwards I think there was the VIP thing where I went

Speaker 1:
00:44:44:17 - 00:44:49:08
don't recall seeing anyone else from the band other than Jared

Speaker 1:
00:44:50:05 - 00:44:53:22
somehow the assistant got to me and asked if I wanted to go

Speaker 1:
00:44:53:23 - 00:44:55:22
to an after party at Shortage House

Speaker 1:
00:44:57:04 - 00:44:59:09
I remember thinking to myself I've never been there.

Speaker 1:
00:45:00:06 - 00:45:00:17
I want to go.

Speaker 1:
00:45:00:23 - 00:45:01:20
I want to see what it is

Speaker 1:
00:45:02:05 - 00:45:03:09
So we went there

Speaker 1:
00:45:03:20 - 00:45:04:19
there were eight people.

Speaker 1:
00:45:04:19 - 00:45:08:09
So we were eight people and mostly just women and then Jared

Speaker 1:
00:45:09:14 - 00:45:11:20
And they were all older than me.

Speaker 1:
00:45:11:23 - 00:45:13:02
I think I was the youngest there

Speaker 1:
00:45:14:07 - 00:45:15:23
remember that or

Speaker 1:
00:45:15:23 - 00:45:28:01
Jared was going around to all these women around the table because he came at some point and then who sat there and then he was asking people if they were sexually assaulted as children and

Speaker 1:
00:45:28:01 - 00:45:29:07
it was just so weird

Speaker 1:
00:45:29:19 - 00:45:31:21
it was so detached from reality

Speaker 2:
00:45:31:23 - 00:45:38:07
and then he comes to me and he's trying to figure out if I've been sexually assaulted as a child, and I keep saying no

Speaker 2:
00:45:39:02 - 00:45:50:23
I just remember that I got fed up with it, so I make up this horrific story about how I've been molested and all the gory details.

Speaker 2:
00:45:53:13 - 00:45:58:09
And everyone around the table just are very shocked.

Speaker 2:
00:45:59:03 - 00:46:00:11
Everyone is very shocked.

Speaker 2:
00:46:00:23 - 00:46:14:03
And instead of him reacting in the same way as the others, he just kind of gets this little grin, and then he looks at me like I knew it.

Speaker 2:
00:46:14:22 - 00:46:18:08
I knew that you've been sexually assaulted as a child

Speaker 1:
00:46:19:03 - 00:46:23:23
And then I remember going to the bathroom and when I came out.

Speaker 1:
00:46:24:21 - 00:46:27:00
He was standing like in the corridor so

Speaker 1:
00:46:27:07 - 00:46:28:12
And then we started talking

Speaker 1:
00:46:29:16 - 00:46:34:02
says something and it gets me to say do you know how old I am.

Speaker 1:
00:46:36:07 - 00:46:39:17
And then he says no and then

Speaker 1:
00:46:39:18 - 00:46:44:07
a

Speaker 1:
00:46:44:07 - 00:46:50:08
I just remember that I felt that the need to say that I'm younger than I am

Speaker 3:
00:46:50:14 - 00:46:53:16
I think he was in the beginning of his 30s at that point.

Speaker 3:
00:46:54:11 - 00:46:57:21
So there was still like at least 10 years in between us

Speaker 1:
00:46:58:08 - 00:47:05:22
And then I remember something in the terms of him saying well age is just a number and anyway we're in Europe

Speaker 1:
00:47:06:12 - 00:47:07:15
I Don't trust this

Speaker 1:
00:47:08:02 - 00:47:14:16
Roedd ychydig i gyd ond yn holl gyda'r lle 'di'n glas ar gyfer yr unig i ni erioed yn bobl yn cynllunio'r Unig

Speaker 1:
00:47:15:20 - 00:47:23:14
I remember speaking to the assistant who was saying that there was the next place to go to

Speaker 1:
00:47:24:05 - 00:47:27:22
And at this time I remember that my phone was dying.

Speaker 1:
00:47:28:14 - 00:47:30:21
So I was saying but I don't know where it is.

Speaker 1:
00:47:33:02 - 00:47:35:22
Like how am I going to get there blah blah blah and

Speaker 1:
00:47:35:23 - 00:47:40:16
she kept like pushing and saying, No no no it's really easy it's right over there blah

Speaker 1:
00:47:40:16 - 00:47:45:02
If I'm going to go to the next location how do I know how to get from there to home

Speaker 1:
00:47:45:11 - 00:47:46:10
This is going to be difficult.

Speaker 1:
00:47:46:13 - 00:47:47:08
My phone is dying.

Speaker 1:
00:47:47:11 - 00:47:48:08
I don't have a charger.

Speaker 1:
00:47:49:06 - 00:47:51:08
I don't know really where I am

Speaker 1:
00:47:51:08 - 00:47:59:19
like okay well we can always check it out and see what it is and if it's not fun at least I might get a charger and then charge my phone and then I can go home

Speaker 1:
00:47:59:20 - 00:48:07:20
And I don't remember if she walks me over to the hotel or how it is but at some point she's then says I

Speaker 1:
00:48:07:20 - 00:48:09:00
oh but I'm not coming

Speaker 3:
00:48:10:06 - 00:48:11:07
the assistant is a woman.

Speaker 3:
00:48:12:06 - 00:48:18:13
So, I trusted her that she would obviously not put me in a bad place

Speaker 1:
00:48:19:16 - 00:48:21:07
get into the hotel room

Speaker 1:
00:48:21:22 - 00:48:24:04
And then it's really dark.

Speaker 1:
00:48:26:01 - 00:48:30:03
And then I see that it's just him sitting on the bed.

Speaker 1:
00:48:32:12 - 00:48:36:15
And I'm like, when there supposed to be other people?

Speaker 1:
00:48:38:04 - 00:48:40:07
And I think he just says, no, it's just you and I

Speaker 1:
00:48:42:00 - 00:48:44:12
throughout this whole night

Speaker 1:
00:48:45:15 - 00:48:51:08
been sent out to this whole thing through the agency.

Speaker 1:
00:48:51:15 - 00:48:55:08
So at the same time, I'm also like, Well, I guess I'm safe

Speaker 1:
00:48:55:20 - 00:49:02:02
And the other part of me was also saying, Yeah, well, this is a celebrity.

Speaker 1:
00:49:02:14 - 00:49:05:21
If he does something, that's going to be all over the news

Speaker 1:
00:49:05:21 - 00:49:08:02
And the assistant was saying that, Go this.

Speaker 1:
00:49:08:12 - 00:49:10:05
Like, go here

Speaker 1:
00:49:10:19 - 00:49:20:08
Then I'm sat there and saying, Okay, well, my phone is dying, so I can't really get home from here.

Speaker 1:
00:49:20:08 - 00:49:23:00
Do you have, like, I also don't have any cash left

Speaker 1:
00:49:23:22 - 00:49:25:03
It's the middle of the night.

Speaker 1:
00:49:25:18 - 00:49:28:04
Can I just sleep here then?

Speaker 1:
00:49:28:04 - 00:49:36:21
And then he just goes, If you're going to sleep here, you're going to wake up with a dick in your ass

Speaker 1:
00:49:40:03 - 00:49:42:22
and I think I ask him like, What did you say?

Speaker 1:
00:49:42:22 - 00:49:48:05
And he says this a few times, If you're going to sleep here, you're going to wake up with a dick in your ass

Speaker 3:
00:49:51:07 - 00:49:53:15
it was like, was this predetermined

Speaker 1:
00:49:54:17 - 00:49:59:14
At that point I was like, okay, maybe I could be in trouble here

Speaker 1:
00:50:01:10 - 00:50:02:22
he said it as a fact.

Speaker 1:
00:50:04:06 - 00:50:07:13
He didn't say, I'm gonna do this to you.

Speaker 1:
00:50:07:13 - 00:50:13:13
He said, There's gonna be this consequence if you sleep here.

Speaker 1:
00:50:14:02 - 00:50:17:04
So it's up to you whether you sleep here or not.

Speaker 1:
00:50:18:00 - 00:50:21:09
But if you are gonna sleep here, you're gonna get sexual assaultive

Speaker 3:
00:50:23:23 - 00:50:29:12
It seemed very likely that that had happened before

Speaker 1:
00:50:30:00 - 00:50:31:00
okay I need to get out.

Speaker 1:
00:50:31:12 - 00:50:47:15
And now the streets of London in the middle of the night are safer than in a hotel room with someone who should be a decent human being because they are idolized and a huge public figure

Speaker 1:
00:50:48:04 - 00:50:50:04
I remember being really angry.

Speaker 1:
00:50:51:04 - 00:50:54:15
I was angry at myself for going into the hotel room.

Speaker 1:
00:50:55:22 - 00:50:59:12
I was putting a lot of blame on myself

Speaker 1:
00:51:00:14 - 00:51:04:23
saying to myself that obviously that was a stupid thing of me to do

Speaker 1:
00:51:05:18 - 00:51:06:21
downplay everything, right?

Speaker 1:
00:51:07:11 - 00:51:08:08
Nothing happened.

Speaker 1:
00:51:08:17 - 00:51:09:19
He didn't touch me.

Speaker 1:
00:51:11:20 - 00:51:13:06
I got out.

Speaker 1:
00:51:13:19 - 00:51:14:20
It was probably a misunderstanding.

Speaker 1:
00:51:15:10 - 00:51:16:13
I was probably the only one.

Speaker 1:
00:51:17:22 - 00:51:19:13
But I'm probably not the only one

Speaker 2:
00:51:19:23 - 00:51:21:15
fod yn gweithio i'r ffordd.

Speaker 1:
00:51:30:10 - 00:51:31:12
Just gonna take a small break.

Speaker 3:
00:51:31:19 - 00:51:32:14
Yeah, of course.

Speaker 3:
00:51:36:12 - 00:51:37:01
Okay

Speaker 3:
00:51:38:02 - 00:51:39:14
felt tricked to go there 'cause

Speaker 3:
00:51:39:14 - 00:51:45:08
I told all the reasons why I shouldn't go to the next place because I didn't know where I was.

Speaker 3:
00:51:45:21 - 00:51:46:21
My phone was dying.

Speaker 3:
00:51:48:00 - 00:51:55:22
And every time that I had an excuse for not going, I was getting nudged to go further

Speaker 3:
00:51:56:12 - 00:52:04:03
supposed to be protected by other adults and then you're the youngest You're kind of still a kid and then you realize I'm not protected

Speaker 1:
00:52:06:02 - 00:52:11:23
And it's very common for people to know about him and who he is and what he's into.

Speaker 1:
00:52:12:14 - 00:52:15:01
And they just very much are like, yeah, that's just Jared.

Speaker 1:
00:52:15:04 - 00:52:16:10
That's just the way he is.

Speaker 1:
00:52:16:10 - 00:52:18:07
He's always done stuff like that

Speaker 2:
00:52:18:19 - 00:52:23:19
there can be a tendency of people to say, Well everyone else knows about it, why should I speak up?

Speaker 2:
00:52:23:21 - 00:52:25:21
Why should I be the one to do it?

Speaker 2:
00:52:25:21 - 00:52:27:02
Other people can do it.

Speaker 2:
00:52:27:02 - 00:52:28:04
Someone else will say something

Speaker 1:
00:52:29:02 - 00:52:30:14
Not a single person spoke up.

Speaker 1:
00:52:30:21 - 00:52:41:20
Not a single person warned me, not a single person expressed concern for me and I mean there were not only just men of his age but also women who were working with him or

Speaker 1:
00:52:41:23 - 00:52:48:00
had frequently seen him approaching other girls or being around other girls

Speaker 1:
00:52:48:16 - 00:52:57:07
of these dozens of people who were traveling with him, touring with him, having him on set, not a single one said anything

Speaker 1:
00:52:57:11 - 00:53:00:09
to myself about looking out for him

Linda:
00:53:01:02 - 00:53:01:10
yw'r gwybod

Linda:
00:53:02:01 - 00:53:04:19
a phobl yw'r gwybod yn y gwybod yw'r gwybod

Linda:
00:53:07:03 - 00:53:30:22
had viewed this event as I Was a stupid girl That did something stupid did something dumb and so This bad thing happened, but of course it did because It's my fault like I did something dumb and so it's on me I don't think I ever it's always simply until probably last couple years.

Linda:
00:53:30:22 - 00:53:45:13
I ever Blamed him I always blamed me Because like yeah, I went you know and I just kept going along with it

Speaker 1:
00:53:46:13 - 00:53:51:19
I feel like I definitely lost a piece of myself during those teenage years

Speaker 1:
00:53:52:24 - 00:53:55:13
I mean, I started to recluse.

Speaker 1:
00:53:56:01 - 00:53:57:19
I sat in my room all the time.

Speaker 1:
00:53:57:19 - 00:53:59:16
I stopped interacting with my family

Speaker 1:
00:54:00:03 - 00:54:00:11
I

Speaker 1:
00:54:00:19 - 00:54:01:24
carried shame with me

Speaker 1:
00:54:02:01 - 00:54:04:23
there was nothing I could do about what had happened to me.

Speaker 1:
00:54:05:07 - 00:54:07:00
So I felt like I had let myself down.

Speaker 1:
00:54:07:15 - 00:54:13:24
I felt like I didn't do something to protect myself and like I couldn't even pursue it afterwards.

Speaker 1:
00:54:14:13 - 00:54:19:00
So I felt like I had really let myself down and I carried a lot of guilt about it

Speaker 1:
00:54:19:13 - 00:54:22:10
Sometimes people don't believe you when these things come out.

Speaker 1:
00:54:22:20 - 00:54:26:04
Like sometimes people, you know, oh, you were 14 when it happened.

Speaker 1:
00:54:26:04 - 00:54:29:09
And now here you are 20 years later and now you want to say something

Speaker 2:
00:54:30:02 - 00:54:45:02
I just find the behavior that I've been hearing about with regards to Jared is intolerable and it makes me quite emotional to think of these kinds of things happening with young women

Speaker 2:
00:54:45:14 - 00:54:51:08
seems like, yes, that's his type because he can have a certain kind of power over them

Speaker 2:
00:54:52:23 - 00:54:57:20
surprising that he's kind of just stayed with the same age group over the years

Taraya:
00:54:58:08 - 00:55:04:07
and so when I saw the airmail article, um It wasn't shock.

Taraya:
00:55:04:15 - 00:55:05:21
It was just oh my gosh.

Taraya:
00:55:05:21 - 00:55:10:06
It wasn't just us This this was a pattern of behavior.

Taraya:
00:55:10:10 - 00:55:15:04
This was Something that that Jared let oh does

Taraya:
00:55:15:15 - 00:55:24:22
Just at what point is enough going to be enough at what point Are enough of us going to stand up and say this behavior is important this

Taraya:
00:55:24:22 - 00:55:30:04
I think when the perpetrator is a celebrity, it's near impossible for women to speak out

Taraya:
00:55:30:11 - 00:55:32:15
I was actually I was I was home I was visiting home.

Taraya:
00:55:32:16 - 00:55:37:06
I was at my parents house watching the Oscars when he won I

Taraya:
00:55:37:06 - 00:55:45:11
I just felt sick to my stomach of This is this is who we want to look up to

Taraya:
00:55:45:15 - 00:56:04:10
that's who you want to invite into your homes in your living room as as people who violate others security and safety At what point are we going to hold ourselves and our our standards up higher and say I'm not willing to accept that behavior

Speaker 2:
00:56:05:03 - 00:56:12:20
experience was so long ago and very quote-unquote innocent in terms of like physically

Speaker 2:
00:56:13:17 - 00:56:18:09
I can only imagine the rage or defense or like hurt

Speaker 2:
00:56:18:22 - 00:56:19:08
feel because

Speaker 1:
00:56:19:21 - 00:56:20:22
I don't understand how

Speaker 1:
00:56:21:14 - 00:56:37:12
You're not gonna prosecute you're not gonna send to jail fine But like how you continue to welcome him into you know these Circles or continue to give him films continue to keep him famous and You know continue to keep doing this because

Speaker 1:
00:56:37:12 - 00:56:55:22
maybe there's just this ingrained culture of silence looking the other way, of allowing people, men to do what they want, that it's just, it is the way it is and you come into it and you either accept it or you leave

Speaker 2:
00:56:56:13 - 00:57:03:14
first time that I had posted on social media that what had happened to me at WarpTour

Speaker 2:
00:57:04:03 - 00:57:20:18
of my friends commented a link to a Reddit, a subreddit, that was just a woman talking about their experiences specifically with Jared Leto

Speaker 2:
00:57:21:06 - 00:57:28:03
there were other people who had experienced it, and not only just experienced it, but literally with the exact same person

Speaker 2:
00:57:29:01 - 00:57:34:11
What is happening in our country that this is like the status quo to a certain degree

Speaker 2:
00:57:34:23 - 00:57:38:22
there's something about the the media structure and

Speaker 2:
00:57:39:02 - 00:57:53:00
American people's like inability to allow like Pretty disturbing information to not disturb them essentially and to like just let it like it's just like another thing that happened and

Speaker 2:
00:57:53:06 - 00:58:00:14
It just makes the value system of women understanding what their value is and like is their voice like something that needs to be heard or not

Speaker 2:
00:58:01:00 - 00:58:03:24
men who are doing really criminal things

Speaker 4:
00:58:04:24 - 00:58:07:24
I know how he is and I know what he's done.

Speaker 4:
00:58:08:07 - 00:58:14:00
But there is a whole population of people out there who don't know who he truly is

Speaker 4:
00:58:14:10 - 00:58:19:15
see so many people idolize him for so long has been really disappointing.

Speaker 4:
00:58:19:22 - 00:58:24:16
And so when the article came out, there was very much a feeling of like, okay, now we're getting somewhere.

Speaker 4:
00:58:24:24 - 00:58:27:08
Now this might actually happen that he's held accountable

Speaker 4:
00:58:27:12 - 00:58:31:23
he's left a trail of emotional destruction for a lot of young women

Speaker 2:
00:58:32:18 - 00:58:49:12
I would say things like he is a non-sexual predator, do not support his work, do not, you know, any of that, and there were always trolls, you know, women who say that are full of shit, they want money, they want their 15 minutes of fame

Speaker 2:
00:58:50:07 - 00:59:02:12
But in my mind, I just think like who wants to get famous for having your like bodily autonomy taken away?

Speaker 2:
00:59:02:17 - 00:59:08:11
That's not, that's not a thing, you know, and

Speaker 2:
00:59:09:03 - 00:59:10:21
It broke me

Speaker 2:
00:59:11:03 - 00:59:20:18
at one point there was, I guess he had done some movie for Netflix and there was a billboard on I-25 that I did not know was there.

Speaker 2:
00:59:21:07 - 00:59:32:00
And so I was driving home and just right there on the side of the road, huge billboard of his eyes staring right through me.

Speaker 2:
00:59:33:00 - 00:59:34:06
And I had to pull over

Speaker 2:
00:59:35:10 - 00:59:38:01
I started going to concerts again about four years ago

Speaker 2:
00:59:38:13 - 00:59:41:09
And it was a beautiful experience.

Speaker 2:
00:59:41:19 - 00:59:42:23
It was really wonderful

Speaker 2:
00:59:43:15 - 00:59:46:23
16 years that I didn't have any type of fun

Speaker 2:
00:59:47:08 - 00:59:50:07
concerts would come around and I would just be sad that I had to miss them

Speaker 2:
00:59:50:16 - 00:59:52:07
and he just took that from me.

Speaker 2:
00:59:52:12 - 00:59:53:04
He really did

Speaker 2:
00:59:55:19 - 00:59:59:04
I knew something had happened that I didn't want to happen.

Speaker 2:
01:00:00:11 - 01:00:01:03
But

Speaker 2:
01:00:01:22 - 01:00:11:04
my mind, because I was not raped, I didn't have a reason to feel as upset as I felt.

Speaker 2:
01:00:11:18 - 01:00:16:21
I felt like, well it could have been worse, at least this didn't happen to you

Speaker 2:
01:00:17:08 - 01:00:24:23
you know, like you weren't a sexual assault, you're not a sexual assault survivor, you were groped, like get over yourself, and it's like, no

Speaker 2:
01:00:25:13 - 01:00:28:21
he sexually assaulted me when I was 17 years old

Speaker 3:
01:00:30:05 - 01:00:39:24
Remember when the movie suicide squad came out It took me a long while before I wanted to watch it I didn't actually know that it was affecting that it had affected me that much

Speaker 1:
01:00:41:12 - 01:00:49:17
nothing's changed the things I've been through I've been through them seeing them now doesn't change them feeling them now doesn't change them.

Speaker 1:
01:00:50:07 - 01:00:55:11
But there's this like healing and acknowledging what happened and

Speaker 1:
01:00:55:18 - 01:00:59:00
of just sort of pushing them or pushing them down

Speaker 1:
01:01:36:13 - 01:01:44:20
I couldn't believe when I had read that article that there were other girls that had gone through worse

Speaker 1:
01:01:45:02 - 01:01:47:10
he's been praying on underage girls

Speaker 2:
01:01:48:05 - 01:01:49:04
he likes him young.

Speaker 2:
01:01:49:04 - 01:01:52:24
Maybe he's just a weird, maybe he's just a weird person

Speaker 2:
01:01:53:15 - 01:01:55:11
I can't wrap my brain around it.

Speaker 2:
01:01:55:19 - 01:02:03:23
Maybe it does have something to do with the fact that they are scared to speak up because at 14 I was, I mean, I was scared to speak up until I was almost 30

Speaker 1:
01:02:05:05 - 01:02:08:22
You really just chose to take your power and abuse it

Speaker 1:
01:02:09:14 - 01:02:10:22
It absolutely makes me sick

Speaker 1:
01:02:11:22 - 01:02:14:16
because they're famous does not mean you should trust them

Speaker 1:
01:02:15:02 - 01:02:17:05
This is the perfect example of

Speaker 3:
01:02:18:08 - 01:02:19:04
accountable for this?

Speaker 1:
01:02:19:04 - 01:02:23:20
I think he has been held accountable for these allegations because of his fame, his privilege.

Speaker 1:
01:02:24:17 - 01:02:30:17
I think that, you know, more of us need to come forward so that there's a stronger voice.

Speaker 1:
01:02:31:17 - 01:02:32:19
I said he can be held accountable

Speaker 1:
01:02:33:23 - 01:02:35:11
don't think he cares about the people around him.

Speaker 1:
01:02:35:19 - 01:02:37:12
I don't think he even cares about his team

Speaker 1:
01:02:38:07 - 01:02:40:22
is only worried about himself and

Speaker 1:
01:02:40:23 - 01:02:42:19
He's just here for Jared Leto

Speaker 2:
01:02:44:22 - 01:02:49:07
of these people stop without there being an intervention because they feel entitled.

Speaker 2:
01:02:49:20 - 01:02:53:22
They feel like they deserve whatever they want

Speaker 2:
01:02:54:11 - 01:02:56:19
that power needs to be taken away from people like him

Speaker 1:
01:02:57:11 - 01:03:11:08
I can't fathom how we're supposed to teach young men that it's not okay when you can get into the music industry.

Speaker 1:
01:03:11:17 - 01:03:12:23
You can be a Hollywood star

Speaker 1:
01:03:13:09 - 01:03:15:04
It doesn't matter what you've done to women

Speaker 1:
01:03:16:09 - 01:03:18:13
If I could go back and

Speaker 1:
01:03:18:13 - 01:03:21:13
I wouldn't Change what happened to me.

Speaker 1:
01:03:21:14 - 01:03:27:14
I would change how I reacted and what I did in those initial moments after I

Speaker 1:
01:03:28:07 - 01:03:37:16
I should have said something because if I said something that would not have happened to those other women and I felt guilty for a long time and

Speaker 1:
01:03:37:18 - 01:03:40:23
I'm sure other survivors feel similar guilt

Speaker 1:
01:03:42:10 - 01:03:44:19
This isn't something that should be normalized.

Speaker 1:
01:03:45:02 - 01:03:49:05
This is not something that people should look away from we need to do better to

Speaker 1:
01:03:49:05 - 01:03:52:10
Don't let this happen to other women for 20 years

Speaker 3:
01:03:53:18 - 01:03:56:07
So did you think he thought that he'd get away with it?

Speaker 1:
01:03:57:24 - 01:03:59:20
Well, he has, right?

Speaker 1:
01:04:00:04 - 01:04:01:11
He has gotten away with it.

Speaker 1:
01:04:02:06 - 01:04:05:14
I was, this was 25 years ago.

Speaker 1:
01:04:07:16 - 01:04:09:06
Apparently he's been doing it.

Speaker 1:
01:04:09:13 - 01:04:11:08
Apparently people know about it.

Speaker 1:
01:04:12:24 - 01:04:15:19
So by all means I think he has gotten away with it

Speaker 3:
01:04:16:17 - 01:04:24:10
I carried a lot of shame over, you know, again, feeling like I did something bad

Speaker 1:
01:04:26:01 - 01:04:28:04
guy has a pattern of this behavior

Speaker 1:
01:04:28:11 - 01:04:38:06
Which is baffles me that it's known and Like how can people I mean I guess it happens I think they're back to naiveness, right

Speaker 1:
01:04:38:22 - 01:04:43:03
There's people do bad things and people look the other way and until I guess they can't

Speaker 1:
01:04:43:12 - 01:04:49:07
this this this can't keep going on this can't keep happening and so many women have experienced it and

Speaker 1:
01:04:49:14 - 01:04:56:10
know we don't say anything we don't talk about it We don't I know that's because we think they're not gonna believe us or maybe the shame or

Speaker 1:
01:04:56:16 - 01:05:02:14
How are people gonna perceive me after seeing this, you know, and that's really scary thought

Speaker 2:
01:05:05:03 - 01:05:06:07
common stereotypes are

Speaker 2:
01:05:06:07 - 01:05:08:04
really comes out when women speak up

Speaker 2:
01:05:08:05 - 01:05:08:23
she's a woman.

Speaker 2:
01:05:09:19 - 01:05:14:13
So she's dramatic or she's emotional or whatever

Clara:
01:05:15:15 - 01:05:15:21
And growing

Speaker 2:
01:05:16:02 - 01:05:17:07
well, boys will be boys.

Speaker 2:
01:05:17:11 - 01:05:18:02
Men will be men.

Speaker 2:
01:05:18:04 - 01:05:19:08
Men just do these things.

Speaker 2:
01:05:19:23 - 01:05:21:03
Men are known for this.

Speaker 2:
01:05:21:15 - 01:05:22:17
You should have known better.

Speaker 2:
01:05:22:22 - 01:05:24:02
You know the way men are.

Speaker 2:
01:05:25:00 - 01:05:31:12
And I think it's easier to blame women because everyone is supposed to know that men can't help it.

Speaker 2:
01:05:31:16 - 01:05:32:12
That's just how they are.

Speaker 2:
01:05:32:14 - 01:05:33:07
It just makes sense

Speaker 2:
01:05:33:20 - 01:05:39:20
it doesn't mean that they're not able to choose something different just because men will be men

Taraya:
01:05:40:08 - 01:05:46:15
That speaks to our society and where we're at it speaks to the fact that one we don't believe women When

Taraya:
01:05:46:20 - 01:05:48:08
and I think it's a level of acceptance.

Taraya:
01:05:48:12 - 01:05:53:15
I think a lot of it is people just saying well, what can I do To make an impact.

Taraya:
01:05:53:17 - 01:05:55:02
How can I stop it?

Taraya:
01:05:55:06 - 01:05:57:00
This is what society is.

Taraya:
01:05:57:06 - 01:06:00:17
This is this is how This is just how it is.

Taraya:
01:06:00:21 - 01:06:01:14
So deal with that

Taraya:
01:06:01:23 - 01:06:10:06
it's incredibly disheartening and it's going to take all of us standing up and saying no I don't have to put up with that.

Taraya:
01:06:10:07 - 01:06:10:13
I

Taraya:
01:06:10:17 - 01:06:22:19
until we collectively decide that that's something that's important to us Men like Gerrard Leto are still going to win Oscars and they're still going to have blockbuster movies Because it was probably the victims fault anyways

Taraya:
01:06:24:04 - 01:06:30:17
we have decided collectively That it's much easier and safer as long as it's not happening to me.

Taraya:
01:06:30:20 - 01:06:32:20
I'm not going to say anything

Speaker 2:
01:06:33:19 - 01:06:35:11
why doesn't anyone do anything to stop him

Speaker 1:
01:06:35:13 - 01:06:41:00
think there's a lot of concern about how it might impact their career

Speaker 1:
01:06:41:14 - 01:06:54:17
whether it's high profile celebrities who are going to say that you're lying, that you're looking for attention, that you want your 15 minutes of fame to people in the industry who do the casting

Speaker 1:
01:06:55:05 - 01:07:02:02
For them saying, I don't want someone who's going to call out behavior because it becomes problematic for

Speaker 1:
01:07:02:10 - 01:07:13:15
think there's a lot of fear around it that the repercussions are just so high and the likelihood could be so low of someone believing them that she's not to come forward at all

Speaker 2:
01:07:14:02 - 01:07:19:15
you're dealing with a very different caliber of risk when you are speaking up out against

Speaker 2:
01:07:19:21 - 01:07:23:09
or anybody who really has more power than the average person

Speaker 2:
01:07:23:09 - 01:07:24:16
especially with someone like him

Speaker 1:
01:07:24:23 - 01:07:30:24
you think the Hollywood machine can almost protect predatory behavior in some way

Speaker 2:
01:07:31:09 - 01:07:35:24
Powerful people can be very intimidating because of how much resources they have

Speaker 2:
01:07:36:10 - 01:07:38:07
They have good legal teams.

Speaker 2:
01:07:38:12 - 01:07:41:20
They have far reaching connections that

Speaker 2:
01:07:41:22 - 01:07:45:13
it kind of feels like an uphill battle to be able to speak out.

Speaker 2:
01:07:45:20 - 01:07:49:18
You're risking a lot and the gain can be very little

Speaker 3:
01:07:50:13 - 01:07:53:20
I don't understand how you can be a famous person do

Speaker 3:
01:07:54:00 - 01:07:56:22
then not have any consequences of that

Speaker 3:
01:07:57:08 - 01:08:04:17
it's kind of just saying It doesn't matter what happened you're not worth it I

Speaker 2:
01:08:05:24 - 01:08:16:12
We are taught in this culture to make exceptions as women, to make exceptions for inappropriate behavior

Speaker 2:
01:08:17:11 - 01:08:19:08
actors can portray something that they're not.

Speaker 2:
01:08:20:05 - 01:08:25:00
So they might be really good at portraying that they're a caring individual or a respectful individual.

Speaker 2:
01:08:25:18 - 01:08:25:18
And

Speaker 2:
01:08:26:24 - 01:08:28:23
can be convinced that he's a good person

Speaker 2:
01:08:29:12 - 01:08:40:14
have to really know, be somebody who's engaged or has seen it from the inside out or whatever to know that, like, oh no, he's just good at acting